Suggestions for discussions:

• ITCHING TO LOVE’S major theme is motherhood and what it feels like when the kids are gone. Is there a feeling in other passages of life that is similar? How would you describe it? What sort of relationship do you expect to have with your kids when they leave home?

• How does motherhood change us? How did motherhood change YOU?

• There is much history in this memoir in terms of defining who we are as Americans. Were you enlightened by the facts that were either revisited or learned for the first time? Which ones struck you most? Did you know that Jefferson and Adams died on the same day? And even more amazing, that that day was July 4, the 50th anniversary of the nation they helped found? Does this seem otherworldly to you? What sort of meaning could one attach to that astounding fact? Is it even relevant to citizens’ awareness today?

• Have you had a remarkable relationship with some animal? What part do you think animals play in our lives?

• Can you imagine what the astronauts felt when they described seeing earth from space? Does the Overview Effect seem reasonable to you? Did it change your feelings about how we look at each other as a global community?

• Did you get a dog or cat during the pandemic? Did that pet ease your sense of being displaced from your everyday normal life? How?

• Have you ever wanted to diagnose members of your family?  How do we sweep all the various traits of our family members into a circle of acceptance and love?  How do you get along with the most difficult member of your family?  Just kidding.  But not really.  Your life lessons are valuable to others.  Be candid.   Your most challenging moments in dealing with family could be someone else’s lighthouse.  End this discussion with answering: If you were going to brand each member of your family with a lipstick kiss, what would you name that shade of lipstick?

  Could reading chapters from ITCHING TO LOVE at the Holiday table be fun as well as a diversion tactic to avoid contentious subjects?  If you do it, please share; let us know how it went and which chapter you read aloud!

   When Shelley starting writing ITCHING TO LOVE, she found photographs of Buddy and realized that Buddy seemed to be always staring at her face. To search for an answer why, she probed recent research into canine behavior and found that the anatomy of dogs’ eyes is different from that of humans. She considered this finding a perfect ending to her book. Do you agree?  Can we say that dogs’ emotional intelligence is more advanced than humans’ ability to read emotions?  If you have a dog, is it possible that your dog is your emotional mirror?  If so, do you have a story to illustrate that?